Who are you wanting to be?

I find myself thinking a lot about the lessons I have learned throughout the years. Never compare, always be patient, always persevere, be slow to speak and most of all always be thankful. Despite how much I have learned I so often forget all the teachings. Here most of all I hear myself say, "I can't wait for..I wish I had..oh man wouldn't it be nice if we.." blah blah blah, these statements get me no where and I am sure they make Joey feel like a schmuck. Joey said the other day on a walk, "maybe you say them because you are so aware, especially now, of how life can change on you so it may be hard to live perfectly in the moment." I always thought I was so great with change, and I loved that about myself..but this statement clearly means that I am quite the opposite of that and that change scares the bageebers out of me. Which olds true to the history of humans, no? WHY?
It is amazing how well you think, or at least I thought I knew myself and then your life shifts and you realize that there are so many things about yourself that you had no idea about. Its a daunting feeling to be 23 almost 24 and married living across seas and wonder, who am I, who do I want to be? While this is a little scary this is also one of the greatest places to be.
As I am breaching 24 years of age within the next 24 hrs, I am fully aware of my life story thus far and I am feeling more beautiful and thankful everyday. Everyday being reminded of the life lessons that are so easily forgotten but so essential not to forget. While 23 was a great year, I mean it was stupendous! So many amazing changes and challenges that I feel are really shaping the women I want to become. I want 24 to be even better, I want 24 to be about setting goals and pursuing dreams. I want to work on all the things that I don't want my children to deal with, like comparing or being slow to speak, I want my kids to see me as a confident women of God that does not waver and to be able to see beauty in everything.

Not comparing is one of the first lessons I learned from Lydia Thomas (amazing woman) and yet I still struggle so so much with it. But I think that is kind of the way life works, the most important life lessons are always the ones that are grown all throughout ones life. They are not simple quotes or common sense, they are meant to challenge you..