Your reality

The main streaming thought in my head for the past..lets say 2 years has been,  If we can truly understand what it means to be fully in love with God, how vastly different would we live our lives. Now you have to understand I am a relatively new Christian so all of my so called brilliant and profound thoughts may be pure simplicity, you know Christianity at a very fundamental basis. Nonetheless I find it inspiring so I must share with you.
Church the last 2 weeks has been on the, "the reality of God." What would life be like if we went through life believing that if we were anxious and and believed God at His word then we would literally..LITERALLY people not figuratively get peace that surpasses all understanding. Think about the last time, me included, that you were stressed out about something not working out how you thought it would, and through giving up control you were absolutely relinquished from anymore anxiety and shame. Or that time when you wish you could figure out why your favorite person is upset that you treated them unfairly, or why on earth the God of so called love allows babies in Africa to die? It says in James if we are lacking wisdom simply ask because God gives it generously. 
I sat in church today wondering if I have had this thought going in and out of my thoughts for the past 2 years for this very moment. Like God has been speaking to me for years and everything that I journal quite frequently about and think about every time I hear someones broken heart pour out, for this very moment when one of my favorite pastors speaks my mind.
You know what the hardest part is? I have all of the tools, I know how this works. I have been in a place in my life merely a year and a half ago where the bible was my only relationship. Anytime I had a bad day or a thought that I could not get out of my head, I read the bible..I prayed for freedom from it and you know what the kicker is? IT WORKED!! And here I am not using my tools properly not utilizing the gifts that I was given..I am not listening. Yet I find myself wondering why oh why do I still have fears, anxieties, harbored bitterness, issues in general that can be debilitating. It feels like having cancer and knowing the things I need to be doing to reverse the disease and I am still sitting on the bench outside of the hospital not knowing if I should take the plunge. Doesn't the term insanity mean trying the same thing over and over again expecting a different result?
I know there are so many people like me and that no one knows what it is to live in the actual reality of God because that is heaven not earth. But if we could get even a small idea of what it is and hold on to it our lives would be changed. The bible is conversation with God and man that was around God, we need it. It holds all of the tools we need to be peaceful, joyful, forgiving and gracious. I can guarantee that if anyone were to read Phil. 4:9-14 they would feel peace. There is promise and truths in the bible that surpass all knowledge that comes from the world. We are created to be better than this! If we would just realize that we were created by a God who knows the amount of hairs on our head, that loves us unconditionally and gave us free will as the greatest gift one can be given, the gift to choose how to live and what are we doing with it?

On a light note, I wore heals for the first time this weekend on these cobble stone streets and I didn't fall:)
Besos to all!