Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Before a young woman’s turn came to go in to King Xerxes, she had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments prescribed for the women, six months with oil of myrrh and six with perfumes and cosmetics.
It is so important for one to realize even back in old testament times that women took time to pamper themselves! Why not today? And do you understand you were made the most beautiful of Gods creation! All this land and creatures of the earth are so magnificent! Think about even the birds of the air and how much detail they hold..now think about how much more he put into the beauty of his children!
1/2 cup Organic Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1/8 cup local, raw Honey
1/4 teaspoon of desired scent options: Homemade Pure Vanilla Extract, Lemon Juice, Lavender essential oil, Fresh ground coffee, Cinnamon or Clove
•“She is the crescendo, the final, astonishing work of God. Woman. In one last flourish creation comes to finish with Eve. She is the Master’s finishing touch.”
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
I am tired, irritable, slightly cloudy in the head and my stomach will not stop speaking loudly.
Other than that life is just dandy ha. I am struggling if you couldn't tell by my negative attitude, and as I type this my head is slightly tilted, I have no expression on my face except for my jaw slightly ajar.
We are on our second drink today and as far as I know the second is always the toughest for me, possibly because around this time I am usually cooking Joey a meal that is smelling the house up with onions and an assortment of delicious veggies and Sriracha. Today I think I am more on edge than yesterday even though I almost starting crying in our workout class last night. As much as I want to delete some of these statements because they make me look like a sissy and oh wait this whole thing was my idea...go figure. I am trying to be cool about this whole experience but I don't think I am fooling anyone.
Despite all of what I have just said I am still excited about this journey and I am refusing to quit for these 10 days. I have heard that the first 3 days are the hardest, and they are, but I am really hoping it gets better from here.
Funny thing about today is that its Valentines day and even though we just celebrated over an awesome weekend I want to throw a mild tantrum because I want to be able to eat chocolate. This is just ridiculous, how much food controls my emotions. Me just saying this wants to push harder just to get rid of it. So much of our life is based around food and even though, don't get me wrong I absolutely love it. At times the desire to have something food related and not getting to fulfill that craving can alter a good moment to a bad??
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Written by me, to God about the love of my life.
I lay by Joey last night and felt overwhelmed with love. I fall more and more in love with him everyday. The way he looks, smells, talks, loves, and most of all the way he makes me feel. I never new this kind of love was alive. I never new that the feelings of ecstasy and strength that I feel from you could ever be attained with man.
Being in Spain no one understands why on earth I would get married so young and every time someone asks, I get this smile on my face that just says, "well.. I wouldn't change it for the world." This man is my strength my comforter my stability and the push behind the desire to get to know you more and more everyday. Yesterday I was so full of your love, your touch was so tangible on my life I felt perfectly satisfied in ever moment.
I have fallen so in love with his skin his beautiful glowing face, his smile that lights up the room and crinkles his enchanting carmel toned eyes. He is strong like King David built with statue. His voice deep and his soul deeper. When he speaks about you I think of CS Lewis the way everything is so logical and perfectly sound. His tenacity for life and goals is uncanning the way he looks at me always makes me feel like I am his gift. This is where I find your spirit so alive Lord, you have created us to desire this sort of love, the kind that makes you feel like a gift. So many people including myself have yearned for this love, but you are its perfect form. Full of grace, peace and comfort there to fight for us day and night if we ask, never failing or forgetting.
This life that you have blessed me with is beyond what I EVER could have dreamed, it gives me goose bumps as I think about it. My journey with you has never once made me think "bad decision," and for that thank you. Thank you for who you are, thank you for blessing with this oppurtunity to in Spain. Thank you for all of the people that I have met and most of all thank you for loving and providing a man as great as Joseph Dean Jackson a man of wisdom, truth, power and strength.
And a bang bang bang.
Monday, February 6, 2012
It is amazing how well you think, or at least I thought I knew myself and then your life shifts and you realize that there are so many things about yourself that you had no idea about. Its a daunting feeling to be 23 almost 24 and married living across seas and wonder, who am I, who do I want to be? While this is a little scary this is also one of the greatest places to be.
As I am breaching 24 years of age within the next 24 hrs, I am fully aware of my life story thus far and I am feeling more beautiful and thankful everyday. Everyday being reminded of the life lessons that are so easily forgotten but so essential not to forget. While 23 was a great year, I mean it was stupendous! So many amazing changes and challenges that I feel are really shaping the women I want to become. I want 24 to be even better, I want 24 to be about setting goals and pursuing dreams. I want to work on all the things that I don't want my children to deal with, like comparing or being slow to speak, I want my kids to see me as a confident women of God that does not waver and to be able to see beauty in everything.
Not comparing is one of the first lessons I learned from Lydia Thomas (amazing woman) and yet I still struggle so so much with it. But I think that is kind of the way life works, the most important life lessons are always the ones that are grown all throughout ones life. They are not simple quotes or common sense, they are meant to challenge you..
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Church the last 2 weeks has been on the, "the reality of God." What would life be like if we went through life believing that if we were anxious and and believed God at His word then we would literally..LITERALLY people not figuratively get peace that surpasses all understanding. Think about the last time, me included, that you were stressed out about something not working out how you thought it would, and through giving up control you were absolutely relinquished from anymore anxiety and shame. Or that time when you wish you could figure out why your favorite person is upset that you treated them unfairly, or why on earth the God of so called love allows babies in Africa to die? It says in James if we are lacking wisdom simply ask because God gives it generously.
I sat in church today wondering if I have had this thought going in and out of my thoughts for the past 2 years for this very moment. Like God has been speaking to me for years and everything that I journal quite frequently about and think about every time I hear someones broken heart pour out, for this very moment when one of my favorite pastors speaks my mind.
You know what the hardest part is? I have all of the tools, I know how this works. I have been in a place in my life merely a year and a half ago where the bible was my only relationship. Anytime I had a bad day or a thought that I could not get out of my head, I read the bible..I prayed for freedom from it and you know what the kicker is? IT WORKED!! And here I am not using my tools properly not utilizing the gifts that I was given..I am not listening. Yet I find myself wondering why oh why do I still have fears, anxieties, harbored bitterness, issues in general that can be debilitating. It feels like having cancer and knowing the things I need to be doing to reverse the disease and I am still sitting on the bench outside of the hospital not knowing if I should take the plunge. Doesn't the term insanity mean trying the same thing over and over again expecting a different result?
I know there are so many people like me and that no one knows what it is to live in the actual reality of God because that is heaven not earth. But if we could get even a small idea of what it is and hold on to it our lives would be changed. The bible is conversation with God and man that was around God, we need it. It holds all of the tools we need to be peaceful, joyful, forgiving and gracious. I can guarantee that if anyone were to read Phil. 4:9-14 they would feel peace. There is promise and truths in the bible that surpass all knowledge that comes from the world. We are created to be better than this! If we would just realize that we were created by a God who knows the amount of hairs on our head, that loves us unconditionally and gave us free will as the greatest gift one can be given, the gift to choose how to live and what are we doing with it?
On a light note, I wore heals for the first time this weekend on these cobble stone streets and I didn't fall:)
Besos to all!
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
I love that working out has become most of my so called schedule, if you will. Every night before I go to bed I look at the next day workout plan and at least try to get both pilates and cycling in some days hoping to fit in some lifting. I used to always make up excuses why I didn't need to work out a certain day or I just can't seem to fit it in, but coming here gives me absolutely no excuse and it is quite nice. Plus it helps me to learn a little more Spanish since all the classes are indeed in spanish. Actually one of the first times I went to cycling the night teacher was not so pleased that I didn't know spanish but he bared with me. To tell you the truth I would think the worst too, this girl has no idea what I am talking about and she wants to take my class?? Thank God I have done some form of athletic class most of my life, so at the very least I am a great observer.
Currently I have just put my book ( The Son of Hamas) down that I am absolutely in love with, cuddled up on the couch with our comforter while my Mr. Jackson makes me dinner. Tonight he is made Chorizo Spaghetti and beer bread, he is getting pretty good at that bread thanks to his mother:) And now he is beckoning me in for the feast, so I must be gone. Being married to this man is the high light of my days.
God bless you all, and I miss you
"Every verse seemed to touch a deep wound in my life. It was a very simple message, but somehow it had the power to heal my soul and hive me hope." This is how the son of a major terrorist in Isreal felt when at 22 he read the word of God, from "Son of Hamas" and amazing book i would suggest to anyone.