I'm speechless-

for the past few weeks I have been attempting to configure a blog in my head summing up our travels, our marriage and of course all the changes that come from that. However I have been at a lost, what do I say? How can I sufficiently describe this journey in a way that not only is fun and exciting for you but in a way that I can someday look back on this blog and remember all those magical times Joey and I would look at eachother in such a way that he would always say, " this is a moment I will hold on to forever." Makes me think of the future when we are so old that most of our days are consumed with Ice tea and summer sits on the porch swing.

So here it begins the attempt to express my adiration and appreciation for this gift of travel that God so graciously handed us on a platter.

Last night we were invited to a BBQ, which by Spanish standards does not really exist but it was so blissful, sat on the top floor of a beautiful apartment, no penthouse yes this place was so beautiful had couches outside sitting on top of the world of Madrid. Our travels there seemed to erk some certain memories out of us that I have so tried to push away. The day we first got here..exausted from traveling over 24 hours now we had to get on to the renfe and travel about another hour with all of our luggage and attitudes. As we were rushing off the renfe, on the wrong stop mind you I get up from my chair and as it goes to fold back up to its upright position I fall down with the jolt of the train and the weight of my luggage. I just sat there and looked up at Joey so defeated, my eyes swelled, I was done. We got off the train and through my tears of anger and laughter of feeling like a crazy person I pulled it together, and thought to myself, man does Joey have it in for him.

I have never traveled this far in my life, I was newly married and had no way to immidiately phone a friend or ask the audience..I was stuck. Stuck in a beautiful world FULL of opportunities but I was so scared, I can't tell you how many times I asked myself, "what the hell are you doing here Heather, how..how did you get here?" Oh wait I was the one who begged Joey to take me far far away! AHHH! 

I remember walking to my small teaching position one day and just getting smacked in the head with these words/ feelings "one day you will be waking up at 1..3..5 in the morning with a hungry baby and you will look back on this time and be regretful you spent it stressed out." At that moment it changed, I changed. I began to sleep in, relax, take the opportunity to work out for hours if I wanted, learn to love the sound of silence, draw, find peace in mopping and dirty bath tubs. I began to love this life, fully I might add. No more worrying about not having a full time job, building clientel, how Joey and I's marriage will turn out or most of all questioning if this was the right decision. The only thing I had control over was this moment, and how I react to it. 

I read this in one of Erica Hendersons blogs, "Life unfolds quickly, it is only the moments that you want to see the future that you feel stuck. So here we are, days older, in the future, settled."

And it settled perfectly, months later as we are preparing for our departure looking back on the beginning of this journey.

It's amazing to me the the main thing in this life that makes people crazy is the lack of control they have on it, however its in the letting go that we find peace and comfort in the unknown. Changes are good for the soul. They allow for growth and wisdom to enter, the hardest challenges can turn into the greatest lessons. 

I am so excited to go home and see our families, our friends and all of Joeys friends babies:) We talk about everyone so often and it is so bizarre to us that we have been absent from the "American dream" for so long now. We have become so accustomed to this life here. So used to small brightly painted streets, cobblestone, storks soaring the skies, mass quantities of PDA, huge blooming roses in the center, our favorite yogurt place, the fact our gym in 30 seconds away from our apartment, and lets not forget one of Spain's biggest trade marks..their tapas! So cheap and so delicious, sit down at anytime during the day for a drink and food for 2.50 with no stress from the waiter or waitress to get up so someone else can occupy our comfy place in the sun. We love it, there is just not much more that I can say other than this experience has changed our lives, we have grown so close and pulled so far at times. We have juggled the newly wed wounds without the comforts of home, and we have survived. Although we know that marriage is a life time full of "sticking it out" and loving the other more than yourself which will a lot of the time be hard, we know we can handle it. We have found our best friends in one another, and that will never be taken away.

I think the best growth for me was in a bible study that I was apart of for 3 months, these women will forever be with me as well as the lessons that have changed me. We went through James, 2 Peter and Ruth. And let me tell you that those 3 books are packed full of great lessons. I remember especially in James, because it was the first one and through the first few months we were here I was going though some serious battles... I learned to be slow to speak and always listen above speaking. Never back bit and always love for that is what we are essentially called to in a nut shell. I remember Joey and I were in a tiff of some sort and I said, "you are lucky I am learning and practicing to hold my tongue most of the time." Nonetheless deflating the fact that I was actually practicing this skill, but it brought smiles to our faces.

In conclusion a moment we will never forget is sitting on our porch sharing some wine and dinner as we speak about how blessed we are. That life is truly a beautiful thing if we allow our eyes to see it. God is always there and through all our failed decisions in the end we are right where we always wanted to be. Truly satisfied with life and excited for the future:) And as little Joshy says, " and a bang bang bang." 

God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.

C. S. Lewis

Salud! See everyone so soon:)

My presentation

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL 

My name is Heather Jackson I am a certified hairstylist and it is one of my passions to be healthy inside and out and to truly feel beautiful in who God made you. It was important for me to truly grasp all the beauty God gave me as a women to live fully alive in him. Therefore I am here in this economic crisis to give you some easy cheap ways to pamper yourself, and really allow God to show you what beauty women hold.

Esther 2:12
Before a young woman’s turn came to go in to King Xerxes, she had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments prescribed for the women, six months with oil of myrrh and six with perfumes and cosmetics. 

Psalm 139:13-14 

 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

It is so important for one to realize even back in old testament times that women took time to pamper themselves! Why not today? And do you understand you were made the most beautiful of Gods creation! All this land and creatures of the earth are so magnificent! Think about even   the birds of the air and how much detail they hold..now think about how much more he put into the beauty of his children!

Benefits of Olive Oil

Alzheimers - this disease is associated with the clogging of arteries caused by cholesterol and saturated fat. Replacing other fats with olive oil will reduce the risk.

Oleic Acid - oleic acid (omega 9) makes up 55 - 85 percent of the fatty acids in olive oil. Oleic acid aids in keeping our arteries supple and helps prevent cancer. 

“Olive oil is the simplest, purest moisturizer in the world. “

RECIPES:

 1. Body Scrub: Brown Sugar, Honey and Organic Extra-Virgin Olive Oil

Used to exfoliate before shaving my legs. Because it is so moisturizing, I have found that I do not need to apply lotion to my legs if I use it before shaving.

1-1/2 cups Brown Sugar
1/2 cup Organic Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1/8 cup local, raw Honey
1/4 teaspoon of desired scent options: Homemade Pure Vanilla Extract, Lemon Juice, Lavender essential oil, Fresh ground coffee, Cinnamon or Clove

In a large bowl, mix all ingredients together to form a paste. Add scent if you would like to, but it is not necessary. Store body scrub in a sealed container in your shower or by the sink. No need to refrigerate. To use, scoop some into the palm of your hand and massage skin as needed.

2.The Aspirin Mask - works wonders on your face. Salicylic acid helps clean out pores and battle acne. All you need is water & 3 aspirin tablets. You can also add honey if you want a binding agent.

·      makes your skin smoother

·      Good for shaving rashes and spots

·      Gets rid of dead skin cells

·      Helps reduce redness of spots

 Directions:

2-3 Aspirin and 3 drops of water

Crush in your hand

Let sit after massaging in for 5 min

Rinse off with a washcloth making sure all residue is gone

Add aloe or honey to the mixture for  moisturizing

3. Make-up remover: OLIVE OIL

4. Antidandruff treatment: Apple Cider Vinegar

Simply spray Apple Cider Vinegar onto your scalp before washing your hair. Your hair may be wet or dry. Leave the vinegar on the scalp while you take a shower (approx 5 minutes) and then rinse it out. Wash you hair as normal. This will get rid of the vinegar smell.

5. Razor Burn Treatment/ Facial Moisturizer: 

Apply 1-2 drops honey to wet fingertips and massage onto razor burn area or wet face. Do not rinse. Pat dry.

Won’t make your skin sticky

Helps the skin retain moisture, plumps up fine lines and gives your skin a beautiful glow.

6.  For Dry Elbows: 

Lemon: Cut a lemon in half and massage it onto each elbow once a day. Dry elbows with towel and apply olive oil to moisturize.

7. Dry Face:

Lemon & Sugar

Mix together 2 tabelspoons of sugar with the juice of ½ of a lemon. White sugar is a smaller granulate for sensitive skin where as brown sugar will be rougher. I like to mix both.

8.  Better hair quality and aids in growth

 Olive Oil or Coconut oil

Heat up 2-3 tablespoons of oil in microwave for about 5-10 seconds. Massage into scalp pulling oil through the ends of hair. Put a hat or shower cap and let sit for 3 hours. Rinse out with a normal wash. Try once a week..does miracles.

 •“She is the crescendo, the final, astonishing work of God. Woman. In one last flourish creation comes to finish with Eve. She is the Master’s finishing touch.”

                                  -John Eldredge

JODER

1. Apologies for this scramble of a blog but here it goes, day 2 of just juice.

I am tired, irritable, slightly cloudy in the head and my stomach will not stop speaking loudly.
Other than that life is just dandy ha. I am struggling if you couldn't tell by my negative attitude, and as I type this my head is slightly tilted, I have no expression on my face except for my jaw slightly ajar.
We are on our second drink today and as far as I know the second is always the toughest for me, possibly because around this time I am usually cooking Joey a meal that is smelling the house up with onions and an assortment of delicious veggies and Sriracha. Today I think I am more on edge than yesterday even though I almost starting crying in our workout class last night. As much as I want to delete some of these statements because they make me look like a sissy and oh wait this whole thing was my idea...go figure. I am trying to be cool about this whole experience but I don't think I am fooling anyone.
Despite all of what I have just said I am still excited about this journey and I am refusing to quit for these 10 days. I have heard that the first 3 days are the hardest, and they are, but I am really hoping it gets better from here.
Funny thing about today is that its Valentines day and even though we just celebrated over an awesome weekend I want to throw a mild tantrum because I want to be able to eat chocolate. This is just ridiculous, how much food controls my emotions. Me just saying this wants to push harder just to get rid of it. So much of our life is based around food and even though, don't get me wrong I absolutely love it.  At times the desire to have something food related and not getting to fulfill that craving can alter a good moment to a bad??

My love

My love.
Written by me, to God about the love of my life.
Dear Father,
I lay by Joey last night and felt overwhelmed with love. I fall more and more in love with him everyday.  The way he looks, smells, talks, loves, and most of all the way he makes me feel. I never new this kind of love was alive. I never new that the feelings of ecstasy and strength that I feel from you could ever be attained with man.

Being in Spain no one understands why on earth I would get married so young and every time someone asks, I get this smile on my face that just says, "well.. I wouldn't change it for the world." This man is my strength my comforter my stability and the push behind the desire to get to know you more and more everyday.  Yesterday I was so full of your love, your touch was so tangible on my life I felt perfectly satisfied in ever moment.

I have fallen so in love with his skin his beautiful glowing face, his smile that lights up the room and crinkles his enchanting carmel toned eyes. He is strong like King David built with statue. His voice deep and his soul deeper.  When he speaks about you I think of CS Lewis the way everything is so logical and perfectly sound. His tenacity for life and goals is uncanning the way he looks at me always makes me feel like I am his gift. This is where I find your spirit so alive Lord, you have created us to desire this sort of love, the kind that makes you feel like a gift. So many people including myself have yearned for this love, but you are its perfect form.  Full of grace, peace and comfort  there to fight for us day and night if we ask, never failing or forgetting.

This life that you have blessed me with is beyond what I EVER could have dreamed, it gives me goose bumps as I think about it. My journey with you has never once made me think "bad decision," and for that thank you. Thank you for who you are, thank you for blessing with this oppurtunity to in Spain. Thank you for all of the people that I have met and most of all thank you for loving and providing a man as great as Joseph Dean Jackson a man of wisdom, truth, power and strength.

I will forever cherish and respect you Joey. With love, grace and passion  I will promise to continue my journey with you Lord in order to keep myself humble and in check to be the woman of God and wife that I desire. Through you all things are possible. Through you I will find my joy and light everyday. Through you I will love him forever and ever amen.
And a bang bang bang.

This letter is for you my sweet. One year ago today you proposed and I said yes. I wouldn't change one second of our journey together. I love you so much.

Who are you wanting to be?

I find myself thinking a lot about the lessons I have learned throughout the years. Never compare, always be patient, always persevere, be slow to speak and most of all always be thankful. Despite how much I have learned I so often forget all the teachings. Here most of all I hear myself say, "I can't wait for..I wish I had..oh man wouldn't it be nice if we.." blah blah blah, these statements get me no where and I am sure they make Joey feel like a schmuck. Joey said the other day on a walk, "maybe you say them because you are so aware, especially now, of how life can change on you so it may be hard to live perfectly in the moment." I always thought I was so great with change, and I loved that about myself..but this statement clearly means that I am quite the opposite of that and that change scares the bageebers out of me. Which olds true to the history of humans, no? WHY?
It is amazing how well you think, or at least I thought I knew myself and then your life shifts and you realize that there are so many things about yourself that you had no idea about. Its a daunting feeling to be 23 almost 24 and married living across seas and wonder, who am I, who do I want to be? While this is a little scary this is also one of the greatest places to be.
As I am breaching 24 years of age within the next 24 hrs, I am fully aware of my life story thus far and I am feeling more beautiful and thankful everyday. Everyday being reminded of the life lessons that are so easily forgotten but so essential not to forget. While 23 was a great year, I mean it was stupendous! So many amazing changes and challenges that I feel are really shaping the women I want to become. I want 24 to be even better, I want 24 to be about setting goals and pursuing dreams. I want to work on all the things that I don't want my children to deal with, like comparing or being slow to speak, I want my kids to see me as a confident women of God that does not waver and to be able to see beauty in everything.

Not comparing is one of the first lessons I learned from Lydia Thomas (amazing woman) and yet I still struggle so so much with it. But I think that is kind of the way life works, the most important life lessons are always the ones that are grown all throughout ones life. They are not simple quotes or common sense, they are meant to challenge you..

Your reality

The main streaming thought in my head for the past..lets say 2 years has been,  If we can truly understand what it means to be fully in love with God, how vastly different would we live our lives. Now you have to understand I am a relatively new Christian so all of my so called brilliant and profound thoughts may be pure simplicity, you know Christianity at a very fundamental basis. Nonetheless I find it inspiring so I must share with you.
Church the last 2 weeks has been on the, "the reality of God." What would life be like if we went through life believing that if we were anxious and and believed God at His word then we would literally..LITERALLY people not figuratively get peace that surpasses all understanding. Think about the last time, me included, that you were stressed out about something not working out how you thought it would, and through giving up control you were absolutely relinquished from anymore anxiety and shame. Or that time when you wish you could figure out why your favorite person is upset that you treated them unfairly, or why on earth the God of so called love allows babies in Africa to die? It says in James if we are lacking wisdom simply ask because God gives it generously. 
I sat in church today wondering if I have had this thought going in and out of my thoughts for the past 2 years for this very moment. Like God has been speaking to me for years and everything that I journal quite frequently about and think about every time I hear someones broken heart pour out, for this very moment when one of my favorite pastors speaks my mind.
You know what the hardest part is? I have all of the tools, I know how this works. I have been in a place in my life merely a year and a half ago where the bible was my only relationship. Anytime I had a bad day or a thought that I could not get out of my head, I read the bible..I prayed for freedom from it and you know what the kicker is? IT WORKED!! And here I am not using my tools properly not utilizing the gifts that I was given..I am not listening. Yet I find myself wondering why oh why do I still have fears, anxieties, harbored bitterness, issues in general that can be debilitating. It feels like having cancer and knowing the things I need to be doing to reverse the disease and I am still sitting on the bench outside of the hospital not knowing if I should take the plunge. Doesn't the term insanity mean trying the same thing over and over again expecting a different result?
I know there are so many people like me and that no one knows what it is to live in the actual reality of God because that is heaven not earth. But if we could get even a small idea of what it is and hold on to it our lives would be changed. The bible is conversation with God and man that was around God, we need it. It holds all of the tools we need to be peaceful, joyful, forgiving and gracious. I can guarantee that if anyone were to read Phil. 4:9-14 they would feel peace. There is promise and truths in the bible that surpass all knowledge that comes from the world. We are created to be better than this! If we would just realize that we were created by a God who knows the amount of hairs on our head, that loves us unconditionally and gave us free will as the greatest gift one can be given, the gift to choose how to live and what are we doing with it?

On a light note, I wore heals for the first time this weekend on these cobble stone streets and I didn't fall:)
Besos to all!

Our day

Seeing how I only work Monday and Wednesday for a mere 2 hours, I have tons and tons of free time. Which as I have said before was hard to get used to but man oh man am I enjoying myself now:) Today I woke up around 9 with my wonderful husband next to me cleaned up the house and went to Pilates at 11, came home lounged and watched Julie and Julia (cute movie) and made Joe some lunch out of the food I bought from the market on Monday then off to cycling at 215.  In which my favorite teacher was teaching! He is about 40 to 45 I would say and FULL of energy. He puts the music so loud that you can't hear your thoughts, which in most cases is a bad thing but when working out I think it is generally welcomed. In the midst of all this music he points you out and stands on his bike yelling "Fuerte Fuerte!" (strong strong!)
I love that working out has become most of my so called schedule, if you will. Every night before I go to bed I look at the next day workout plan and at least try to get both pilates and cycling in some days hoping to fit in some lifting. I used to always make up excuses why I didn't need to work out a certain day or I just can't seem to fit it in, but coming here gives me absolutely no excuse and it is quite nice. Plus it helps me to learn a little more Spanish since all the classes are indeed in spanish. Actually one of the first times I went to cycling the night teacher was not so pleased that I didn't know spanish but he bared with me. To tell you the truth I would think the worst too, this girl has no idea what I am talking about and she wants to take my class?? Thank God I have done some form of athletic class most of my life, so at the very least I am a great observer.
Currently I have just put my book ( The Son of Hamas) down that I am absolutely in love with, cuddled up on the couch with our comforter while my Mr. Jackson makes me dinner. Tonight he is made Chorizo Spaghetti and beer bread, he is getting pretty good at that bread thanks to his mother:) And now he is beckoning me in for the feast, so I must be gone. Being married to this man is the high light of my days.
God bless you all, and I miss you




"Every verse seemed to touch a deep wound in my life. It was a very simple message, but somehow it had the power to heal my soul and hive me hope." This is how the son of a major terrorist in Isreal felt when at 22 he read the word of God, from "Son of Hamas" and amazing book i would suggest to anyone.